Pater noster, qui es in caelis

Religion never ceases to confound me. I mean I understand it, and I enjoy it generally, at least the peaceful parts, but it still never ceases to confound me. I'm not an atheist. I mean I've questioned the existence of god, but I've never believed in a complete lack of one all together. It just seems too depressing. If you believe that there is no order, no purpose to the universe, then why are we alive at all. Maybe we're all fooling ourselves, but why know the truth, or even pretend that you know the truth if it will make you miserable? But all the same, I'm not sure I understand the ritual that goes behind the bulk of religions. I like the community that you get at services, but your relationship with...god, the beyond, whatever you call it, seems so much more personal than you can ever get in a religious service. I've gone to three different services at LU and as much as I like the communities there, I still don't feel nearly religious, as close to something greater as I do when I'm in my room by myself. All the chanting, all the ritual doesn't do anything for me.
-Lia