I'm sorry

I'm sorry, I know it's been a couple months since I have written anything here, but I suppose I've been dealing with some personal demons which I don't think would have been much interesting reading here. Last night was the first time in a while I've really acted like a teenager. I didn't get home until after one, and it was the first time I've ever come home with my parents already asleep. I suppose since I am an adult I don't have a curfew, but it was strange to come home and not have someone waiting up for me.

I had a fun night, though it wiped me out.

It has made me think a lot about my relationship with men. I suppose we all have our neuroses when it comes to the opposite gender. I doubt many people are perfect when it comes to dating, at least if I have learned anything from my friends, everyone has different neroses. Some fall for those that have no idea they exhist, or those perpetually outside their  reach. Some date anyone...honestly I think we're all just scared. We're all just so scared that we're going to fuck things up, we don't know how to react with the opposite sex. Like we've never gotten past that time in first grade that someone said "boys have cooties" or "girls are yucky". We segregated ourselves willingly then, and now don't know how to deal with each other now that we're no long scared of catching "cooties".

Personally, my problem isn't attracting men. I've been able to get men interested. I can get almost every man interested. Not all of course, but most. It's still always am a little shaken when a guy seems completely disinterested. I suppose I've always determined my sex appeal based on men's interest so it shakes me when I can't get a guy to show an interest in me. Still those times are generally few and far between. Even if I'm not a guy's ideal woman, I can get them interested. My problem is what to do when I catch them. Truthfully, if I was going to make a fishing analogy. I have no problem hooking the fish, my lures are incredibly effective, it's just I always seem to freak out once I have one hooked and have to end up cutting the line, or a least let it go slack once they're there. I don't know why I do that. I suppose I'll have to try to psychoanalysize myself sometime when I'm more awake.

-Lia

I have been toying with the idea...

I have been toying with the idea of starting an advice blog. I'm sort of bored and I can't imagine dispensing advice is that hard. I mean, I have enough friends that ask me for advice anyway. I can't imagine there's much more of a qualification you have to have to be Dear Abby. I've basically become one of my friends, Neil's, apparent relationship guru. Or I suppose I should say girl interpreter. We talk often enough, but half of the time it's "what should I do about this girl I used to date"? I mean I haven't had the most stellar romantic life as of lately, ask anyone, but apparently I'm the resident relationship advisor. Interesting to say the least.

Though on the relationship front there is this really cute guy in my German Class, so it isn't completely bleak I don't think. We'll just have to see how that goes.

Writers Block

Writer's block isn't something I commonly get. And even now I don't think I truly have writers block since I'm writing now in a couple stories I have started, I just don't have anything really to say about me. Life has been going on, but I don't know what else to say about it. I admit I stole the name of this blog from a Beatles song, which I'm sure some of you have caught onto. I mean it's a pretty famous song "A Day in the Life", end of the Sgt. Pepper Album I'm pretty sure. Thinking about it right now, all I can think of is that interlude right now: "Woke up, got out of bed, dragged a comb across my head. Found my way downstairs and drank a cup. Looking up I noticed I was late. Found my coat and grabbed my hat. Made the bus in seconds flat..." Really that's just sort of how my life is going right now, just a bunch of little things that all are fine and nothing bad per se. Just nothing worth writing home about.

I spent all day yesterday car shopping. I now have a little black Nissan Versa out front. It's an adorable little car, easy to parallel park too which is spiffy since I haven't in years.

Rants and Raves

If you want to loose all faith in humanity, spend a couple days reading craigslists rants and raves. The sad point I think at this point is that I'm addicted to looking through the posts. Every once in a while you get a good one, but mostly it's bigots (and really the re: INSERT BIGOTED IDEA HERE's are more fun to see people arguing with the other other people) and then a lot of sexual confessions (if it has a picture attached USE CATION. Even if the title seems completely innocuous, the picture is most likely of some part of a human being you would only see from street flashers. I'm still trying to scrub my brain from some of them since, well if I were feline my curiosity on these posts would have killed me by now) It just really makes me wonder about people some times. I mean I don't agree with a lot of the posts, but can't say I've had the patience or drive to cut the post, go to another page, write up my reply, click through the craigslist disclaimers, type in their making sure you aren't a spamming machine thing, and then click post after they send the make sure this is right email. I mean, I'll do that to sell things (how I sold my barbies and old mattress) but just to yell at people, not so much, yet, every day there are people willing to go through just that too talk about how Obama is going to be the death of this country, and how December 21, 2012 is going to be the end of the world as predicted by the Mayan calender. So instead of throwing my lot in their with all those people, I thought I would just have my own little rant here, after all it's sort of what this entire blog is for, me just writing whatever I'm thinking about.

As for the world ending in a little less than 3 years? As far as I'm concerned, there have been then of the world theories in ever generation since we had enough time to sit around and contemplate death. My theory is it's just an advanced form of self-importance.
-Lia

North Pole or Bust

Dear Santa,
I know it has been more than a few years since I have written to you. In fact I never really was one to write to you in the first place. Not since I lived in Westlake Village at least, and even now I don't plan on sending this to the North Pole. Sometimes I wish it was easier to believe in you. I lasted for a good long time believing you were real. Into middle school at least, even though I would have denied that fervently when I was that age. It's not that I don't want to believe now, it's just...the older you get, the harder it is to just let yourself believe. You just learn more about the world and, well, everything just becomes more clear and at the same time less magical.
Still I thought I would write this just for my own peace of mind. Of course there are the things that I'd like for myself, and all that, but really it's the time of year to think more for other people than for yourself. People say this time of year is getting too commercial and in a lot of ways it probably is, but I would still think that people think about others this time of year too. I know it's a hard time for a lot of people. I wouldn't go so far as to say we're in the second great depression, but a lot of people are struggling to get by. I'm so thankful that we are not some of then. I hope that they all have a merry Christmas and aren't too sad or cold this winter.
Second, I want my parents to be happy. I know we all love each other, but I want everyone to stop worrying, to just be mind blowingly happy. Truly that's all I want for Christmas, for everyone to be happy.
Sincerely,
Lia

"It is well that war is so terrible...

...lest we become to fond of it"

I admit I have been less than vigilant in blogging lately, which had upset at least my single reader, River. Honestly I haven't had much to say. It's not often I have writers block, and honestly I haven't since I have been noveling still, I just haven't had much to say about my own life. It's funny that every once in a while the hardest thing to write about is yourself. You'd think that since you have you, you know, live as yourself every day it would be a lot easier to say things, but sometimes it really isn't.

The quote I used for the beginning of this blog is one by Robert E. Lee actually (who I think we might be related to on my mom's mom's side, there's quite a few Virginia Lees there but I digress) and it comes from the last lab I had for TAing today. The professor's Marine friend came to speak to the class, and I've found that of the Marines I have met (being two, not a great sample I know, but of them) when discussing their beliefs have a tendency to be very abrasive. I don't know if it just comes from the nature of the military, but it's like they all insist they aren't idiots, which I'm sure they aren't, but don't know how to put forth an idea in a polite setting. I suppose it's one of those things where you sort of need to feel like people are out to attack you if you want to go out and learn to shoot people. It's a very black and white occupation. There's the good guys and the bad guys and you're alive or dead. There's not a whole lot of time to spend contemplating philosophy and psychology. Personally I think that's not a great way to live and hinders their social development. When you're used to being drilled into, you don't know how to act without acting like you need to attack or be attacked. It's actually an interesting study I would think, how the military psychologically effects people. I mean I know you have to hard people up if you're training them to kill people and possibly be killed, but it really doesn't seem conducive to a well made sociable person.
-Lia

Life after Nanowrimo

I admit that it's been a while since I've posted anything here, but all my writing has been spent in a word document thinking about my characters for National Novel Writing month. I had to get 50,000 words all this month, and I was more than a little obsessive about it. Now I'm just sponsoring River in her bid to finish, and trying to get the motivation to finish up the tail end of my novel now that nano isn't hanging over my head. I think I was spoilt with last years novel just coming out almost perfect, and now I need to work on this one seriously. I think entire scenes seriously need to go, but oh well, nanowrimo is all about the finishing. I've got three stories done so far, now I've just got to finish this fourth.