4am

Well it's been a while since I wrote and I really should be sleeping now, but I needed at least to get this out. Breaking up sucks. Even when you are the one to do it, it sucks sucks sucks sucks sucks. Why the world doesn't just match us up with our perfect mate at the beginning of time, I don't know, maybe some crappy learning experience, but when you don't feel the same way as someone else, just everybody gets hurt. Part of me feels like you just have to wade through all the crap life throws at you to get to anything remotely good, but then part of me feels like the human race is some cosmic joke to some higher beings. Like we're the soap opera of the species, fun to watch and to thank the powers that be that you are involved. Life isn't fun, and just to get some happiness in your life you have to hit so many lows. It's amazing that we can stand it. Maybe that's why the world is so messed up. We all hit these completely shitty parts of our lives and we can't stand not to make the rest of the world feel the same way. And with 4.whatever billion people in the world there's just always someone feeling shitty. Nothing else can be done about it so we just keep pulling the world deeper and deeper into our misery. I'll be fine I know, just not being able to be what people want hits me so hard, and I can't do anything about that. I feel his misery, and despair, and I can't do anything about it while still taking care of myself. Life is just sort of crappy. There's good parts, but we have to live through the bad parts to, and that's just no fun. It hurts. It really does.
-Lia